I will not lessen this post with too many words. Chicks who drink beer are sexy and slutty… perfect!
Caveman Conclusion: Women who drink beer have more sex.
Ok, as many of you are aware, I have been getting in shape. I’m am now 172 lbs. and 14.3% body fat. I am proud of this. For the first time in many years I would like to run around my house and do yard work this spring and summer without a shirt.
The problem is that I burn easily. I’m a white dude. I am a very white dude. Descendent from Ireland, I will generally burn to a crisp instead of tan. So, in order to tan I must take it very, very slowly. I must go to a tanning place and pay money to get a tan. As of today, I have been twice and I feel gay every time.
As I walk through the door and proceed to the front desk I am thinking of naked babes and motorcycles. After climbing out of the tanning bed I’m thinking about the horrible job the interior designer did on the place and how there just isn’t enough use of pastels these days.
Gotta run, Oprah is on.
Caveman Conclusion: A tanned wang is a sexy wang.
Caveman Conclusion: Chicken head is going to get you!
Now that Caveman Conclusion has gained a bit of popularity, I am getting increasing feedback regarding my status as a “sexist pig” and my “objectionable” posts. I will address this issue and this will be my only post discussing this subject, as I intend to either completely ignore them or find a way to make fun of them in some “objectionable” fashion in the future.
Do you think I’m a sexist pig? Fine. Think my posts are objectionable? Great! There are many things in life that are objectionable. Hell, turn on cable for a few minutes and I’m sure you find something to complain about. My sense of humor is from a male’s perspective. A caveman’s sense of humor. Would you call a caveman a sexist pig with objectionable views? Welcome to Caveman Conclusion fuckers! Don’t act so damned surprised.
Funny is funny. The subject does not matter. Not to me anyway, and certainly not to some of you. Some of you “get it” and some evidently do not. Some people can take something for what it is, laugh about it, and move on. Others insist on constantly playing the “victim” card by deliberately seeking out things that offend them. Get an enema. Get rid of that stick up your ass and have a little fun. Life is too short. If you are English, I’m sorry, but there’s no hope for you. That stick was bred into you like your bad teeth.
This is funny.
Ok, enough is enough. It’s time to quit reading this shit and go spend some time with your family. Don’t you have a kid that could use a hug? Don’t you have a wife that needs spanking? Close down your browser, throw back a couple of shots so that time spent with relatives is bearable, and thank me later.
Caveman Conclusion: Some women doth protest too much me thinks.
Caveman Conclusion: Marriage should not be entered into.
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