It is not often that we are lucky enough to have a first lady that isn’t all old, saggy, and jacked up. Michelle Obama is decent looking, young, and intelligent. She is a million times better looking than Hillary Clinton. In honor of Michelle Obama not being the normal hideously grotesque wife of a politician I will post this pic I just “received” of her.

I can’t tell if that is sweat or water glistening off those big ass ham hocks. The look on her face is as if she is needing a good spankin’. I think I’d wear a glove, don’t want to get that greasy shit all over me.

Michelle Obama’s big ass eats this thong bikini.

Caveman Conclusion: Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round.

Posted in Funny Pictures, World Affairs | 9 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• It’s a start
• Humor Is Funny Stuff, Die You Sexist Pig!
• Stunning Katherine Heigl
• The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré
• Hormone Up On Testosterone

I fuckin’ hate hippies. They are not hippies in the traditional sense with the tie-dyed shirts and long hair, but rather in behavior, attitude. Today’s hippies are extremely annoying.

I had gone to my favorite cigar shop to pick up some smokes. My beautiful wife had come with me and after grabbing the stogies, she wanted to walk around the area and check out some of the local shops. I usually hate shopping, but the weather was decent and I was up for a walk. Off we went, heading North into the heart of the “Highlands.” The Highlands is the appropriately named part of the city where the pothead/hippie/homosexual freaks hang out. You might call them, enlightened or avant-garde, but they’re simply pretentious and boring to me.

This place is loaded with coffee shops and cafes filled with patrons playing chess in the window, tooling around on their Apple laptops or just sitting there being gay all over the place. They are so cool I think I’ll call them culo.

After passing the 47th African store, my wife finds a small shop she wants to go in. Just inside the door I see a tiny print of a painting of some bird that you might see at a yard sale for $0.25 which they had priced at $89. The store was a chick store, filled with chick shit. Overpriced clothing, overpriced books about being a woman, pricey stylish cookware, and way overpriced lame-ass art filled the shop as some kind of foreign music played, which may have been Asian even though the proprietor was whiter than me. Enlightened.

It isn’t long before my wife is as disgusted as I am and we leave, her hands smelling of lemon from the sample of $32 hand lotion. As we walk to my truck we pass a couple of gay dudes making out in their purple Grand Am. Sweet. I couldn’t wait to get out of the city and back to my house in the country.

Caveman Conclusion: Drugs are bad, m’kay?

Posted in World Affairs | No Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• It’s a start
• Oy Vey, Uncle Ben Is One Dumb Bastard!
• The Self-Cleaning Vagina
• Big Contest, Bald Meme
• CaffiNation Assimilation

Actually, she’s not bad looking. I’m sure I wouldn’t pay her fee of $1000 an hour for her, although I might break a piece off for free if she let me. Ashley, when not banging governors, is an aspiring singer. Her MySpace page describes how she feels about music and there’s even a track of her singing. The song is called “What We Want,” and has that ghetto hip hop crap sound you find in the ghetto hip hop crap clubs.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive towards dear Ashley, I’m insensitive by nature so it’s not personal. Ashley, if you need a place to crash while this blows over, you can come stay with me. I’m sure I can find something for you to do to keep your mind occupied. Maybe you can bone up on your singing or something.

Below are a few pics of her from MySpace.

Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré… peace beyotches!

Prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupré in St. Tropez in a white bikini.

She might actually be able to make her way singing if she can manage to keep the high ranking political officials peters out of her mouth long enough to bust out a tune. Poor kid. I can’t wait to see her in Playboy.

Caveman Conclusion: Hookers provide a great service to the community and should be praised for their noble sacrifices.

Posted in Entertainment, Music, World Affairs | 4 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• Photos Of NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer With Prostitute
• Beautiful Ashley Judd
• Stunning Katherine Heigl
• No More Free Entrecard Designs
• Rainbow Booger

Just in from my super-secret anonymous sources, exclusive Caveman Conclusion flawless-faux photos/pics of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer with a hooker!

NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer with “Kristen,” a prostitute.

NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer and hooker “Kirsten”
going at it in the hotel lobby as
onlookers stare in disbelief.

Why are some people calling for impeachment? It’s not like he stole anything, he paid for it!

Update: Here is The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré.

Caveman Conclusion: Making out means getting your money’s worth.

Posted in Entertainment, Funny Pictures, World Affairs | 7 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré
• Humor Is Funny Stuff, Die You Sexist Pig!
• Oy Vey, Uncle Ben Is One Dumb Bastard!
• Rainbow Booger
• No More Free Entrecard Designs

Ben Shalom Bernanke. What the hell is wrong with this knucklehead? The Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve is arguably the single most powerful position in the world and he seems to be the lamest ever.

Ben Bernanke losing his mind.

He has a great interest in the great depression and has written extensively on the subject. I wonder if he is conducting an experiment of his own to see if he can get us in another one. I swear, this dumb bastard moves at the speed of a special olympic hurdler.

After my post “The Miraculous Golden Udders” where I informed you about my recent $4.75 gallon of milk purchase I began thinking more about this problem. I am not an economist, but this guy is and he is responsible for our entire economy. The buck stops with him. It is his responsibility and he is failing.

Wake up Bernanke! Put down the draydle and get the goddamn schpilkis out of your genectagezoink! Your hairline is not the only thing in recession.

Caveman Conclusion: Talk is cheap, supply exceeds demand.

Posted in World Affairs | 1 Comment »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• Stunning Katherine Heigl
• The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré
• Free Custom Entrecard Design
• CaffiNation Assimilation
• Big Contest, Bald Meme