Actually, she’s not bad looking. I’m sure I wouldn’t pay her fee of $1000 an hour for her, although I might break a piece off for free if she let me. Ashley, when not banging governors, is an aspiring singer. Her MySpace page describes how she feels about music and there’s even a track of her singing. The song is called “What We Want,” and has that ghetto hip hop crap sound you find in the ghetto hip hop crap clubs.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive towards dear Ashley, I’m insensitive by nature so it’s not personal. Ashley, if you need a place to crash while this blows over, you can come stay with me. I’m sure I can find something for you to do to keep your mind occupied. Maybe you can bone up on your singing or something.

Below are a few pics of her from MySpace.

Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré… peace beyotches!

Prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupré in St. Tropez in a white bikini.

She might actually be able to make her way singing if she can manage to keep the high ranking political officials peters out of her mouth long enough to bust out a tune. Poor kid. I can’t wait to see her in Playboy.

Caveman Conclusion: Hookers provide a great service to the community and should be praised for their noble sacrifices.

Posted in Entertainment, Music, World Affairs | 4 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• Photos Of NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer With Prostitute
• Beautiful Ashley Judd
• Stunning Katherine Heigl
• No More Free Entrecard Designs
• Rainbow Booger

Just in from my super-secret anonymous sources, exclusive Caveman Conclusion flawless-faux photos/pics of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer with a hooker!

NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer with “Kristen,” a prostitute.

NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer and hooker “Kirsten”
going at it in the hotel lobby as
onlookers stare in disbelief.

Why are some people calling for impeachment? It’s not like he stole anything, he paid for it!

Update: Here is The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré.

Caveman Conclusion: Making out means getting your money’s worth.

Posted in Entertainment, Funny Pictures, World Affairs | 7 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• The Real Spitzer Hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupré
• Humor Is Funny Stuff, Die You Sexist Pig!
• Oy Vey, Uncle Ben Is One Dumb Bastard!
• Rainbow Booger
• No More Free Entrecard Designs

My usual morning routine consists of getting out of bed, urinating, weighing myself, showering, getting dressed, and making a cup of coffee all the while scratching, shuffling, and adjusting my giant man parts. This morning started off with a slight snag however, I was out of milk for my requisite cup of Joe.

As I marched angrily out the door and into the cold to retrieve the ingredients to properly prepare my breakfast confections, I had no idea I was about to have my wallet raped like a 13 year old boy at a NAMBLA meeting upon reaching the register.

“$4.75,” she said.

“For milk?”

“Yep.”

“Christ,” I said, “are you serious?”

I slipped her a ten like I was taking part in a drug deal, my ass puckered with contempt.

Did I just purchase milk from a golden uddered cow or what? How the hell could they be charging that much for a simple gallon of milk?

I was disgusted. Everything is going up and up like mad. It’s getting harder and harder to make it these days.

Honey, bust out one of those suckers, Papi needs a squirt of milk for his coffee!

Caveman Conclusion: To sustain life all one needs is access to a good set of hooters.

Posted in Entertainment, Food and Beverage | 9 Comments »

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• My Visit To The Milk Farm
• Oy Vey, Uncle Ben Is One Dumb Bastard!
• Heavy Hitting With Huge Golden Balls
• Let’s Play The Dining Waiting Game
• My House With Tornado Damage [PICS]

Caveman Conclusion: I wonder if sex with your twin is incest or masturbation.

Posted in Entertainment | 6 Comments »

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• Beer And Babes [PICS]
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• In Five Years Hillary Clinton Will Look Like This
• Free Custom Entrecard Design

This is a pic of a pick. A really
great pick, am I right?
This is not a pic of me.

I just got back from my noon workout and decided I was hungry and nuked up some grub. I found a couple big chunks of leftover pork tenderloin, a few hot peppers on the side, and poured tall glass of skim milk. So I chow it down, loving every pepper, getting hot pepper juice all over my hands. I use a paper towel then head back to my computer.

I pick my nose. Yeah right, like you don’t? My nose suddenly starts burning from the latent pepper juice on my finger. It’s still burning! What the hell is the matter with me? Surprisingly, I’ve never done drugs. Maybe I should have. What an idiot I must be. I think I’ll try rinsing it out with some diet coke.

Just a little warning. Don’t be a big dummy like me, wash your hands after eating hot peppers and before picking your nose. Washing your hands after picking your nose is completely optional.

Caveman Conclusion: If there’s no burning when picking your nose then you’re not doing it right.

Posted in Entertainment | 12 Comments »

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• Rainbow Booger
• How To Interview And Get The Job Almost Every Time
• Caveman In Kuwait
• My Wife Tried To Kill Me With A Gun
• Stinky Broad Gets Fired, Sues