Over a year ago I completely tore my anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). The ACL is a ligament in the knee. I was stupid. Not regular stupid, I was Corky from Life Goes On stupid. Here is what happened.

I had just bought my first home. It was a brand new home out in the sticks on an acre with a brand new toilet that had never been desecrated. I was happy. I took a brief break from moving and decided to celebrate with a few Rolling Rock.

After about six beers, for some reason I thought I would continue the celebration by performing a few stunts on my dirt bike. A total redneck move, I know. Just as you have by now guessed, this is where things went horribly wrong.

Now, I consider myself a decent rider. I don’t race, never have, and can’t hit jumps like those guys do, but I can ride around pretty good and hit tiny jumps like a pro. I have a 2001 Honda CR250 (pic at right), which is fast as hell. Previous to this incident I took a weekend trip and practiced my wheelie pulling all day. I was pretty good at it.

It is true what they say about alcohol reducing your reaction time. I pulled the throttle back and due to my impairment, didn’t roll it back off soon enough. I flipped the bike, fell off and totally jacked up my knee. It hurt. It hurt a lot. If you’ve ever had somebody hit you with a sledge hammer then you understand. I went to the hospital where they took x-rays and told me I had torn my ACL.

Tomorrow I go in for surgery to repair it. The doc says it’ll be stronger than before. They are going to take a cadaver tendon and replace my torn ligament with it by screwing it into both bones. Sounds gross. I will have dead person parts in me.

I wonder if having someone’s body parts changes you. You know, like if I get a Mexican then I’ll start craving refried beans or start saying “jes” instead of “yes” or something. If so, I hope it’s a male at least. If I start posting crap about how I enjoyed the sunset or my monthly cycle then you know I got stuck with a female part.

So… I will be out for a bit.

Caveman Conclusion: Stupid hurts.

More gnarly posts by the Caveman:
• Caveman’s First Video, My 1997 Honda Valkyrie
• Let’s Play The Dining Waiting Game
• It’s a start
• No More Free Entrecard Designs
• Eat Like A Caveman To Build Muscle